My newly forming toenail got a hitch in its giddy up where hitch means pain and redness and pus (I mentioned the pus for Deb) and giddy up means why the frick can’t this toenail be normal already? So I was forced, yes, forced, to make an appointment with the hot foot doctor again. I know. And he had to remove another hunk or two of the newly forming toenail. (As a result of my superior bargaining skills, he left some of it behind this time.) I’m hoping the remainder hangs on for dear life, and that the rest grows back with no giddy-up hitches.

But enough about my toenail, you want to know more about the hot doctor. Am I right?

As I walked back to the torture chamber examination room with the hot doctor’s very nice assistant, she and I conversed.

Assistant: “Are you the one who wrote the article about your last visit?”

Me: “Huh?”

Assistant: “About when the doctor removed your toenail?”

And then it dawned on me what she was talking about.

Me [sheepishly]: “Oh. Um. Well. Uh. Yes, I did write something about that.”

Assistant: “It was really funny.”

Me: “Oh. Uh. Really? Oh. How did you, uh, find it?”

Assistant: “I don’t know. Someone printed it out. We all passed it around. Everyone thought it was funny.”

Me: “Oh. My. Well. Um. Okay. Uh. Thank you.”

So now I’m thinking, everyone? As in, did the hot doctor get a hold of it too? Frick.

Enter hot doctor. Crap. Way hotter than I first remembered. Way. And why is he smiling like that? Is he smiling like that? Or is it just me? Because hotter. Way.

I will spare you the medical details. Suffice it to say that the discussion (pedicures, Dexter, amputation), procedure (sharp metal instruments, syringes, iPhone), and gore (blood, pus hi Deb!, carnage) were pretty much the same as the last time, except that this time my legs were shaved. (I may or may not have also shaved those little hairs on my toes too. I’m not saying.)

All the while I was wondering whether the hot doctor had read that earlier post, you know, that someone had printed and passed around the office.

Then I was all bandaged up and ready to hop go home.

Hot Doctor: “Do you have any questions?”

Me: “No, no, I don’t think so.”

Hot Doctor: “Well, if you do, be sure to call me. I don’t know how to find your blog.”

And he was smiling that way.

51 comments on “When Worlds Collide”

  1. I LOVE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! Your blog totally ROCKS, so he’ll love what he finds here!

    I’d like to meet the hot doctor! I’d be willing to drive 2 hours!

    Hope your toenail grows all the way back and its giddy up is hitchless!

  2. I absolutely LOVE it! That is hilarious. I feel the same way whenever I go in for my OB appointments. There are THREE docs there that rotate and are way too hot to be delivering babies!

  3. THAT has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read all day. You seriously rock. I would have slinked to the floor in utter and complete embarassment and said, “Nope. Not me. That really CLEVER lady wrote that post. Excuse me while I try to find another hot toe doctor.”

    You rock.

  4. Well, hell, once the cat was out of the bag you should have snapped a picture of Dr. Hot with your iPhone for the blog, now that he’s “in on it” and all.

  5. HAHAHAHHA nice. That just gave me the best laugh of the day! I have been busted a few times too. The trouble with being a blogger 😉

  6. Big smile here at you being “outed.”
    Hot, a sense of humour and he reads – what a find!
    Makes that whole toe thing a little more bearable…

  7. mo.stoneskin:

    It really happened.

    I’m not 100% sure how it got uncovered, but here’s my best guess:

    A friend of mine’s husband works in that medical practice. She said she might have emailed him the link, but couldn’t remember for sure. So that’s probably it.

    When I told my friend what had happened, she asked me if I was okay about everyone reading it. I told her that I was cracking up. Seriously, it is on the Internet, so it’s fair game, after all.


  8. All I can think to say is…

    “Shut the front door!” No way!?

    And, this reminds me of when my hot hairdresser told me about MY blog about HIM being printed and HUNG IN THE BACK by some front-desk chic. Freakin’ A.

  9. Shut up! This is just like the time Secretary of State Hillary Clinton telephoned me and asked me out for coffee because she had read my blog entry supporting her run for president and she thought is was compelling and funny.

    Good luck with the toenail (sounds icky).

  10. Hysterical! You should string all of your toenail posts together and submit to a magazine.

    Your toenail situation almost makes me faint as I read your descriptions. I told Toddler Child to run tell Daddy that Mama has the vapors – bring me something to sniff – quick! He brought me a tissue and a raisin.

    Too frickin’ funny… YOU, that is.

  11. i know there were some things in your post about your toe or your foot or some pus (hi deb!) but really all i’m wondering is if we can marry the hot doctor too.

    so. can we?

  12. I just cracked up while reading this and then had to tell my husband (sitting across the room on the couch with his computer) what was so funny! Ths cracked me up!!!!

  13. SHUT UP!!!! NO WAY!!!
    Oh my word, that is too funny. I would have been completely red. I blush really easily. At least he seems to have a good sense of humor. Hot and a good sense of humor. A deadly combo. 😉

  14. I bet you were ready to crawl out of the office following that visit but that would have hurt like ***! on your little toe.

    I’m sure you hopped out with dignity.

  15. ROTFL

    wait, I’m trying to recover here…



    Cheri, you are wonderful! And it’s so much better that he is hawt, because… well… at least it’s good for his ego. Maybe he’ll name his boat after you or something? 😉

    But what’s almost weirder? I’ve really been wondering lately about how your toenail was coming along. Honest to Pete.

    And like Shana said, he’s a total photo op now! We want to see pictures!!

  16. haha you’ve been busted!
    oh well… you must have secretly wanted him to know, or you wouldn’t have blogged about it.
    i’m sure when squeezing your toe, his heart must have fluttered just a little, otherwise he wouldn’t have mentioned it either.

  17. Oh man, this makes my stomach wiggly. I would simply shrivel and die if my secret crushes read what I’d written. Mainly because I could be their mothers, but still…

    It sounds like you handled the situation superbly, however.

  18. My first thought “SHUT UP” but that’s been said,

    My second thought “ROFLMAO”

    but that’s been said

    MY third thought “please oh please send him to my blog and then I’ll marry him” but no I won’t so just…

    I love you and your blog and your humor. the end.

  19. *I was wondering about the toe.
    *I always forget to shave the tops of my toes until I’m out and with not a razor in site.
    *This Deb would love to see pictures of the Hawt Doc so please….
    *And really….that’s just too too frickin’ funny!
    Thanks for the LOL moment of the evening!!
    I love you!

  20. You got some serious kind of karma going on there, girlfriend! I mean this, and (in your post in about a week)- meeting up with the police officer after he graduated from law school.

    I hooted with laughter over this one, though.

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