I’ll get to the cheating child part in a sec.

Now that I have you here, which shirt should I wear to watch Adam Lambert sing in win the American Idol final tomorrow night?

I’m thinking of going with the Led Zeppelin shirt because I got pregnant with Adam’s twins while he was singing “Whole Lotta Love” two weeks ago:

Then again, I will be giving birth to the twins on Wednesday night following the finale of American Idol, so maybe I’m better off with something a little more understated, something that sends a subtle message to America that Adam Lambert won:

What do you think?

Back to the cheating child. Look what it says on the Mother’s Day letter that Laura made for me at school:

“She cooks, bakes, and makes delicious foods.”

She’s obviously seeing another mother on the side.

However, I suppose I can overlook her indiscretion since the letter was delivered in this envelope:

“Adam Lambert says: Happy Mother’s Day!”
(Click on picture for close-up view of guyliner and black nail polish.
And, oh my gosh, I love love love my child.)

I can only imagine what Laura’s teacher must think of me, and I feel a bit bad about it. I never wanted anyone to get the impression that I cook and bake.

30 comments on “When Children Cheat on Their Moms”

  1. You’ve got to get rid of that cook and bake rep – pronto! You’ll have the Home & School Association all over you for fundraisers. 😉

  2. So re Adam-wear for tomorrow night, I think you should either go all Kara and don some black leather — biker jacket, pants, collar — or do a Paula and wear something really low cut. I know: Maybe a tight-fitting Led Zeppelin T-shirt with a black leather biker jacket?

    Btw, I may have to link to this post for my weekly official American Idol post as a friend JUST asked me what she should wear. (Lot of that going around. ; )

    As for your daughter, I’d just double check that none of her friends moms, the ones who are busy baking delicious foods, also do not have a thing for Adam, just to be sure she hasn’t been cheating on you. ; )

  3. Don’t worry, my son thinks I clean the house while he is at school! lol

    Go with the Led Zep maternity shirt. I picked up a People magazine at the airport over the weekend. I looked for you in the photo of the fans in the stadium. Best wishes for your babyX2-daddy this week!
    Do you have names for the twins yet?

  4. P.S. Jarrah said in her card that I was a great mother because I make “the best” mac and cheese. That’s right, beyotches: the best that Kraft has to offer.

  5. Led Zeppelin!

    Your precious cheating child wasn’t really seeking enhanced “mothering” when she cheated… just a cookie. Bake the child a cookie, her wandering eyes will stay home then.

  6. Better than her telling you you smell like a million sea creatures. (My son thought that was the ultimate compliment)

    Hmm, shirt? I’d go with Zep.

  7. I love that she made you an Adam Lambert envelope. That is classic. She knows her mom all too well, doesn’t she…I mean other than the cooking and baking apparently.
    I’ll keep my fingers crossed that your other husband will win, but I’m sure he won’t need my help.
    I like the Led Zep shirt best!

  8. The teacher is probably thinking that you stole Adam Lambert away from her.

    And WHO is Laura seeing on the side that does all that cooking and baking? I know you import your cookies from England, or swipe them from Girl Scouts. You’re going to have to put a tail on that girl and find out where she goes for baked good.

    Go with Zeppelin tee!

  9. Yeah, me again. That would be baked goods with an ‘s’ on the end.

    I hate looking like a moron.

    Like a kid would go out for just one cookie when there’s a whole box of them on your desk. Geez!

  10. I happen to know that you cook and stuff because you’ve written about it here: Remember the pancakes and organic ingredients and homemade applesauce or something like. Yeah, I remember when you wrote about such stuff! Right. here. on. this. blog. YO! (That’s my first time sayin’ YO! It feels weird.)

  11. hey… i don’t laugh out loud when i’m not in the presence of another person and certainly not at things i see on the internet but when i got to your daughter’s card… well, i did

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