During a recent car ride:

Cheri [Driving]: “Tom, hand me a couple of Ibuprofen. There’s a small bottle in the glove compartment.”

Tom: “Okay.” [Reaches for bottle, spots a pack of gum, and reaches for that instead]

Cheri: “Tom, first the Ibuprofen and then the gum. I have a headache. It’s not always all about you. Gosh.”

Laura: “Daddy, you’re not the middle of the galaxy.”

Cheri: “Laura, do you mean center of the universe?”

Laura: [Giggles] “Yes.”

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