* * *

It seems like it’s been one thing after another around here lately, and I’m just not getting the attention that I once enjoyed. I’ve been sitting alone, feeling like I’m being taken for granted.

Today I thought, “Nobody’s gonna put me in a corner.”
I decided to do something about it.
I donned a clever disguise, slipped out of the house . . .
. . . and headed downtown to a cozy rooftop bar.
It wasn’t long before I spotted this little hottie sitting alone.
Things were starting to look promising as we took in the view . . .
. . . so I bought her a drink.
The next thing I knew, her boyfriend showed up.
Three or more is a crowd. (I ought to know.)
I hung around the bar a while longer,
but I didn’t meet anyone who was my type.
So, I went home, took a cold shower,
and thought, “Tomorrow is another day.”
I wonder if there’s a Match.com iPhone app
that I can download to myself.

(Gaslamp photograph courtesy of Google Images.)

39 comments on “The iPhone Boyfriend’s Guest Post”

  1. I KNEW IT! SHE SAID SHE HAD A MEETING TODAY, AND THEN SHE’S ALL UP ON SOME DAMN ROOFTOP BAR PICKING UP MAN SLUT iPHONES!

  2. Hilarious post!!!

    And re: your posts below re: Adam. WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?! How in the WORLD is it possible he didn’t win?? Seriously – I feel like I’m caught in a bad dream….

    Kris beat ADAM?! My prediction was that Kris would be booted off before DANNY. And then, Danny and Adam would be in the finals. My prediction was wrong?! Clearly there is an imbalance in the universe.

  3. My cell phone has been exhibiting some rather strange behaviour lately – vibrating and emitting beeps at odd times. Perhaps we should set up a meeting of our cell phones – bypass Match.com iPhone!

    (Great photos!)

  4. Hilarious!! I love the disguise and glasses.

    We flip-phones just sit in our booth at Denny’s, grouse about the cold coffee, and remember what it was like in our day…..

  5. My iPhone (who’s a girl) says she’s available. js.

    Also? My condolences about Wednesday. I can understand why the iPhone had to run the blog while you grieved.

  6. I was told by a single friend that match.com is for hookups, and eharmony is for true love. Don’t let iPhone BF be a one night stand! Go eharmony app!

  7. My palm centro is looking for love too! Shall we meet?!

    I was so bummed Adam didn’t win even though I didn’t watch the season, etc. I thought of you right away and those twin babies and how now you’ll need my “twin” expertise even more, since you’re grieving and all. I will support you 100% during this oh so difficult time!

  8. I’m laughing!

    I was just thinking of doing a traveling post with my phone when we’re in Mexico. Then I popped in over here and you’d already done it.

    Damn it.

  9. I was already laughing, but phd in yogurtry really cracked me up!
    Now I’m imagining that your iphone boyfriend’s icap for the shower looks very much like a condom… which could come in useful with his downloading adventure…

    Did the twins come out your nose? And what will you do now??
    Inquiring minds want to know!

  10. This just breaks my heart.

    Too bad you’re way out of my little enV’s league–he’s basic, gets the job done, but nothing too fancy.

    Maybe you should reconsider the threesome thing.

  11. Uh oh, you don’t want an iPhone feeling all neglected – who knows what kind of mayhem he’ll get into just to draw your attention back?

    Like auditioning for American Idol and wearing eyeliner…

  12. So…when I come to San Diego, I leave my hawt little gaudy pink number in the suitcase….thanks for the warning because…she does tend to be a bit slutty at times.
    Whew! We dodged that bullet early.

    It’s official…I love you.

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