Step 1: Warm up
STRETCH your upper body and neck by reaching to the top shelf of the pantry for the candy stash you hid from your family.
STRETCH your lower body and hamstrings by bending down to pick up the candy bag you dropped because it is so heavily laden with delicious booty.
Step 2: Strength training
LIFT the candy bag and carry it to the coffee table.
SQUAT and sit down on the couch to sort through mass quantities of candy looking for
one ten all of the M&Ms.
FEEL THE BURN when you discover that the little traitor you gave birth to traded with her friends most of the M&Ms for Reese’s.
Step 3: Cardio
RUN to the computer to tweet the following message: Why do these candies say “fun size”? The big package should be labeled “fun size” and the small should be labeled “not as fun size.”
RUN back to the couch for more candy.
RUN to the trashcan to
hide the wrappers inside of an empty yogurt container throw away the wrappers.
RUN back to the couch with an increased heart rate from the
sugar and chemical rush cardio portion of your workout.
Step 4: Cool down
RECLINE on the couch.
STRETCH and reach for your iPhone to send a text message to your friend about M&Ms.
STRETCH and reach for your iPhone to read a text message from your friend about Reese’s.
TAKE DEEP BREATHS upon learning that there is such a thing as dark chocolate Reese’s.
Advanced Program: Circuit training
JUMP off of the couch.
RUN to the pantry.
STRETCH while reaching for the candy bag on top shelf.
SQUAT down and sit on the pantry floor.
LIFT the candy bag, sort through its contents, find no dark chocolate Reese’s, and curse.
WALK back to the couch feeling sad.
RECLINE and pout.
(Graphics courtesy of Google images.)