I’m starting to need list ideas like some people need meth. So thank you, thank you, thank you Deb for tagging me with “Seven Random Confessions,” I think.

“Why is it that fools always have the instinct to hunt out the unpleasant secrets of life, and the hardiness to mention them?” ~Emily Eden

Seven Random Confessions

1. I once crawled through a dog door in order to get inside when my then-boyfriend locked me out of his house during an argument.

2. I got the giggles at my grandmother’s funeral, in the chapel, during the service. (In my defense, I was twelve and my cousin started it.)

3. I dated a guy in high school who drove a Chevy El Camino with mag wheels, pinstriping, no muffler, and “King Camino” custom painted across the rear window.

4. When the boyfriend mentioned in number one above and I broke up, I said one of the meanest things I’ve ever said to anyone which was, “It’s good that you’re so short, that way more people will know that you’re going bald.”*

5. I photocopied my butt once. I’m not saying anything more about this.

6. I ordered a pair of smokin’ hot black shoes from Zappos.com, which I plan to wear to my husband’s funeral, ‘cause he’s gonna croak when he finds out what they cost. (I hope my cousin and I don’t get the giggles.)**

7. I gave Laura and her friend Jackie permission to make prank calls to Courtney. Of course, Courtney knew who was calling all along on account of their really bad British accents and Caller ID.

If you can read this,
you just got tagged.
________
*For the record, I was unkind to the short, balding guy for whom I crawled through a doggie door. King Camino (who had a thick head of hair and danced like Travolta in Saturday Night Fever) turned out to be unkind to me. I had to dump him when I found out he was two-timing with a ‘ho from another school. I wonder if he still has that car . . .

**The smokin’ hot shoes arrived today and were The Most Uncomfortable Pair Of Shoes Ever Made. But another almost equally smokin’ hot (less expensive) pair that I ordered as back up fit like a glove. The Universe intervened and my marriage is saved!

Almost Equally Smokin’ Hot Less Expensive
Party (not Funeral) Shoes

21 comments on “List Day Twenty-One: Seven Random Confessions”

  1. At least you’ll look good at the funeral…

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I always enjoy your comments. If you go to your Blogger dashboard and edit your profile so that it includes an e-mail address (I have one just for my blog), I could reply to you. Not that you’re dying to hear from me or anything, but I feel so rude never answering you!

  2. For the record, I was unkind to the short, balding guy for whom I crawled through a doggie door. King Camino turned out to be unkind to me. I had to dump him when I found out he was two-timing with a ‘ho from another school.

    Also, the smokin’ hot shoes arrived today and were The Most Uncomfortable Pair Of Shoes Ever Made. But another nearly-equally smokin’ hot (less expensive) pair that I ordered as back up fit like a glove. The Universe intervened and my marriage is saved!

  3. SO GLAD to hear your marriage was saved by cheap(er) shoes. I have so loved all your lists…but this one has been my favorite!!

    I’m FLATTERED that you added me to your blogroll…thanks!

  4. I forgot to add…I went to the senior prom as a sophomore with a guy with a turquoise El Camino…but we had to avoid a certain part of town because he had gaessed and ran the week before. I sure knew how to pick ’em:-)

  5. Those shoes – ack – both pairs are beautiful.

    I haven’t worn heels in about 9 years. I’m inspired by your sassy self.

    And I’m impressed by the doggy door crawling – cracked me up.

  6. This is awesome!!!!! I’ll have to do it on Monday. :o)

    Since I’m a shoe addict, I often tell people “nice shoes.” Yesterday on the radio, I heard that “nice shoes” is a code word for “you wanna have S#$?” What the? Do know how many people think I’m nuts??

    LOL LOL LOL!!

  7. Hi Cheri:
    Just discovered you, and read your profile…. and hey, if you love Eric Clapton [as I most certainly so] you must read my tonight’s blog.
    Cheers!
    — Cip

  8. #4 had me laughing out loud. It may be mean, but it was dang clever and funny. =)

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has giggled at a funeral. I giggled with my cousin at my grandma’s funeral and we hid our faces in our hankies and tried to make it look like we were shaking with tears. Then, with the same cousin, at my dad’s funeral I couldn’t help it. The situation was so surreal, and the lady who sang was hitting these awfully high notes and had braces. We started giggling again. But in the end it made a painful experience a happy and silly memory

  9. Great writing.

    Nice shoes.

    You can come to my funeral – maybe it will help everyone laugh a little – hey, there something healing in that…

    Sad Camino man – he still remembers you I’m sure.

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