I bought these smokin’ hot shoes, which I mentioned a few lists back to wear to a company party celebrating my husband’s ten-year employment anniversary. I decided that the smokin’ hot shoes would look best with tan legs, straight hair, and nice-smelling armpits in a black dress. In order to achieve these goals, I had to purchase a few beauty products. I used said beauty products as directed. However, somewhere along the way, things went sideways. I cleverly assessed the situation and came to the conclusion that things went sideways because I fell prey to the traps set for me by the marketing geniuses of the beauty-product industry. Those giants of capitalist industry, who make billions of dollars annually by feeding off purchases made from vanity and insecurity, might have fooled me, but because I am a nice blogger and I look out for my blogging friends, I am posting a warning list so they don’t fool you too.

 

Marketing Myths Exposed
1. Wash Hands Immediately After Use
To Prevent Discoloration of Palms? Not.

2. De-Frizz? Not.

3. Dare to Wear Black? Not.

Dear Readers, do you have any marketing myths to expose? Please share.

16 comments on “List Day Twenty-Eight: Marketing Myths Exposed”

  1. First, I couldn’t wear those shoes and walk at the same time. I’m a clod.

    Second, I have bought more “scrub free” shower cleaners since installing a glass shower door, and I have muscle cramps from all the scrubbing.

  2. SWEET! Please tell me you went with orange hands to the festivities and made pithy comments about how your other job as a sewer employee resulted in this odd coloration . . . pithy comments, of course, being made before passing food to another occupant of the table.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! I’m glad to know there are others out there like me who find law school useless training for diaper changes and food preparation. Hope you come back! I’ll be back to yours . . . .

    Oh, and yes. Pregnancy sucks an egg.

  3. Concealer. It never seems to conceal but to highlight and crustify my acne.

    Any “defrizzer” should be listed as friz greaser. It doesn’t get rid of frizz it just makes it look greasy.

    Push up bras. I’m sure they would push up my girlies if they could hold on to them. More often than not, though, the bra ends up by neck and the girlies are a swingin’ low. TMI? Oops, sorry.

  4. Your palm does indeed look “sublime.” Hmmm.

    This is why I decided against going into advertising – way too sketchy for me. Thank you for this public service!

  5. I don’t know why I don’t have the orange palm problem–but I do wash right way and then I have to clean my sink, cause that orange coming off the hands just kinda coats it in a very gross way.

    Any sort of zit cream–it just never does the job as promised.

    I’m with the other Jen (the one that’s on the edge), where’s the hot mama picture of you in those rockin’ shoes?

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