We have really nice next-door neighbors and I am so sad that they put their house up for sale this week. And being interested in the asking price because as a homeowner it is always nice to be abreast of market trends and whatnot, and not at all because I am nosy, I went to the real estate agent’s website to take a look. There I found a YouTube tour of the inside of the house, and can I just tell you that I’m ready to strike a match over on this side of the fence and move right in over on that side of the fence? It’s beyond lovely. Every room looks like a page from a Pottery Barn catalog. Tasteful, aesthetically pleasing, and spotless.
So I ran into my neighbor out in front today. We chatted about the holidays, where they are moving, why they are moving, etc. And our conversation concluded as follows:
Me: “Your house is so lovely, who staged it for you?”
Neighbor: “Um. Nobody. That’s our stuff.”
Me: [Suddenly mute for the first time in my life. Well, except for the time that Adam Lambert put his hand on my shoulder.]
Neighbor: “Really, we live that way.”
Me: “Uh, ahem, yes, of course. Well, yes, um, really, your home is so lovely. It will obviously show well and sell quickly.”
I was wondering if I gave myself away. Surely he would be able to tell by my stupid “Who staged it for you?” question that we don’t live that way. Quickly I talked myself into a comfy state of denial that I was sure I could make stick. No, this neighbor has no clue about my cluttered closets, cabinets, drawers, and, shut up, I’m not even going to mention what’s under the daybed in my office. Because the outside of my house looks okay. It’s not at all cluttered with unwanted and unnecessary things.
Just then he looked up and reached over my right shoulder into a tree at the side of my front walkway. I watched him pluck a large black spider and a strong black web off of one of the limbs. I was about to jump sky high when I realized it was a forgotten Halloween decoration still hanging in the tree.
*In case you didn’t know, Blognuts hate spiders.