I was thinking about my middle child today. When Courtney was a little girl, she loved The Wizard of Oz. A friend of mine made a lovely Dorothy costume for Courtney, and she wore it almost daily, until it was threadbare. One year, students in Courtney’s class had to make a clothespin doll representing their likenesses. This was Courtney’s:
I miss that little Courtney, and I wish that I could go back and get to know her better. If I could change one thing about Courtney’s childhood years, it would be that I would have been more present during that time with her. That one “little” change would have effected so many others.
I have regret, and it is painful. From regret comes opportunity for change, to accept responsibility, to make amends when possible, and even to forgive oneself. If we wallow in regret too deeply or try to bury it, we won’t be able to do what we can do now. Eckhart Tolle (and others) are correct in pointing out that the present moment is all that we ever have. The past is gone and unchangeable. We can only plan the future.
I love remembering Courtney as a little girl.
I’m looking forward to spending time with Courtney at Thanksgiving.
It doesn’t matter whether she lives in another state or she’s all grown up now. In this present moment, I treasure Courtney with all of my heart.