NaBloPoMo Day Six:
I Had a Nightmare

You thought this was going to be about politics, huh?

Or maybe religion?

Nope.

It’s about the other one.

You know what I mean.

(My mother-in-law and my children should avert their eyes now.)

I had a nightmare. In my dream I found out that Tom had “visited” a hooker. You dream-interpreting bloggers may feel free to go to town with this one. I think I dreamed it because we’ve been having lots of hawt “green beans” these days, and I had even written a post about having lots of hawt green beans when you’re married, which I may or may not eventually post here depending upon how desperate to meet the daily NaBloPoMo daily post quota gutsy I’m feeling at the time. Tom, perhaps attempting to create a diversion, told me that he thinks I dreamed he went to a hooker because of a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit rerun we watched the day before. Uh huh. So. Whatever my dream may or may not have meant, when I awoke I was all emotional and told Tom that my dream felt real.

Cheri [whiny]: “I’m all sad and mad at you.”

Tom [lovingly]: I’m sorry you’re sad, but you can’t be mad at me for something I didn’t do.”

Cheri [whiny]: Well, the dream felt real, so I’m sad and mad.

Tom [tenderly]: I love you.

Cheri [still whiny]: “Tom, tell me you’ve never had sex with a hooker. Please.”

Tom [smiling and feigning an Arkansas accent]: “I never had sexual relations with a hooker.”

Cheri: “Crap.”

Readers: When was the last time you had green beans a nightmare that felt real?

27 comments on “I Had a Nightmare”

  1. I’ve had a lot, but I usually don’t remember them afterwards!

    I do remember dreaming (I hoped I was dreaming) that I was dying, one night last summer. So I’m glad that one’s over with.

    Wish I could have had some hawt green beans instead.

  2. When I drove down to CT to see Robert Plant and when I got there, found out he’d cancelled. He was all up in my dream that night, yo, and we talked about Tolkien and elves and all manner of interesting things and he was HAWTer than green beans 🙂

  3. I hate those kind of dreams! Hate. Them. They’re either like yours – some betrayal from my husband, or I’m trying to protect or save my children. Awful.

    Sounds like you’d better be more specific in your questioning of Tom.

  4. I’ve had those kind of dreams before and I found it hard to stop thinking I’d been wronged some how.

    (That turkey, doing the Clinton thing. That surely doesn’t help…:))

  5. So – there’s so much about this that I love.

    1. The fact that you used green beans in a post. That’s totally hawt.

    2. The fact that your readers have chosen, at least thus far, in large part to ignore the fact that such an odd and asexual object has been chosen by you to mean something sexual and hawt.

    3. The fact that green beans may actually make it into the urban dictionary one of these days.

    All in all, this post was totally hawt.

    PS – I don’t have nightmares. I think I’m actually so depraved that I just don’t worry about things.

    PPS – If my husband has green beans with a hooker, I get to have green beans with Angelina Jolie.

  6. Nightmares would imply that I’m in a deep enough state to dream. Which these days looks more like a burning laptop on my thighs, and drool running onto my shirt-of-the-day (aka PJ’s).

  7. I wrote about a recent real-feeling dream during the fires here:

    Little Tujunga Fire

    It scared me – mostly because my friend Larry had died last year, and in my dream he was being pushy and not nice to me, as well as the fire smoke….

    it was so real when I awoke I had to write it down, which is why it became a blog post.

  8. I had a dream that my hubby wanted me to do a striptease for his friends at his bachelor party. When I woke up I was PISSED OFF. Poor hubby got an ear full All. Day. Long.
    hehehe

  9. Yeah- I have these dreams about Jen leaving me for someone else- frequently. And they seem terribly real, and I wake up very upset with her as well. It sucks. And I agreee with the others, hard to push away from.

  10. Oooh how eerie. I just wrote a post earlier in the week about a couple of argument dreams I had had. On one occasion (years ago) the person I had argued with in the dream also had a dream the same night about arguing with me. And yet we were best of friends.

    Weird.

    And yes, the dreams always leave me feeling affected all day. It’s horrible.

    PhD in Yogurtry referred me here.

    But it’s poor tom I feel most sorry for – let’s hope he makes it up to you in a dream tonight!!

  11. Hehehehe. I’ve had a few of those. And gotten up and yelled at my husband before I was fully awake.

    “You SOB!! How could you do that?? You cut off my head!!”

    He’s used to it by now. That particular time he opened his eyes and said, “Was I a king?”

    LOL

  12. You’re family now, Cheri, and I have to admit that your talk of green beans makes me blush faintly and try to think of puppies and kittens. Maybe next time your warning will be something like ‘my daughters and Gary should avert their eyes and go somewhere else’.
    BUT, Tom is gold, I am sorry about your dream, and maybe you need a dream pet like I have?

  13. Cheri – So how weird is this? After reading this post, I had a dream where I, too awoke feeling the emotions I’d feel if my dream had really happened.

    I posted about it.

  14. OMG, you are a wacko just like Katy! She has those dreams too and wakes me up all sad or pissed off and I have to endure the Spanish Inquisition while rubbing the sand from my eyes and wondering when I can get out of bed to go pee. Yeah, those are my favorite mornings … all sunshine and puppy dogs for the rest of the day.

  15. Cheri, after I stop laughing, I’m sure I’ll begin to empathize. Til then, check out dreammoods.com. The search engine doesn’t work, so click on the Dream Dictionary link and use the alphabet. I’d start with H for hooker. LOL

    xo

    PS – I dreamed about fish last night. Big, giant, fresh-water fish.

  16. Geez, way to send me on a wild goose chase trying to figure out hawt green beans! (Although I feel Tranny Head’s pain in that department…or rather, I felt her pain. Life is back to normal vegetable consumption these days.) *Ahem*

    Yes, I have woken up from bad dreams like this, to punish my dh for the next day or two until he grovels enough for something he never did. It works both ways — I’ve had to calm him down, too (although I’m pretty sure I don’t grovel, I just get mad after about 15 minutes of his crabbiness)…and that is the way it should be: the man has to apologize profusely for the woman’s bad dream, and the woman gets to gripe at the man.

  17. I have some of the freakiest dreams where I wake up and am all like “WTF?” and it takes me awhile to get my head back on straight. And then I’ve had the dreams where they have been so friggin’ real–like the one where my brothers were in an accident, it woke me up and I called my mom (at 4:00 AM) for her to go and check on them to make sure they were okay (I think she looked into therapy for me after that!). But lately, I’m sleeping too hard to remember any dreams….sad.

    “hawt green beans”? THAT is too funny…twisted in a veggy kind of way, but funny.
    Actually…we don’t get hawt green beans from a can too often here…sometimes it’s just easier to grow them yourself. When I do happen to find fresh ones, I try to savor them and make them last for a long time.
    ;-D

  18. i don’t understand this post. why can’t you be mad at him for the dream? that makes no sense. if we only got mad about things that actually happen, then i would, like, never get mad, and that? is madness.

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