Did you ever have one of those days when your kid doesn’t feel well, but wants to go to school just for math and then come home?

Probably not, right?

Did you ever pick up your child after math and give her a homeopathic remedy, and while you think she is watching television and playing with Polly dolls quietly in your bed, you even write a blog post about the math and the homeopathic remedy?

Still not?

So, then . . . I bet none of these scenarios would have happened to you either:

Scenario I

You looked up from your laptop and asked your child why she put your pillow on the floor.

Your child said, “That’s where I spilled my glass of water.” Then you said, “The entire glass?” And then she said, “Don’t worry, the pillow will soak it up.”

Scenario II

You looked up from your laptop and asked, “Why is there a rubbery black spider on my ceiling?” Then your child said, “I threw it up in the air and it stuck to the ceiling. Heehee.”

So, you went to get the broom. Your child got all excited and said, “Let me do it! Let me get it down!” You replied, “No way. I don’t want you making a black mark on the ceiling with the end of the broom.” Your child said, “I’ll be careful. I can do it.” You replied, “Stand back.”

Mindful of the black handle on the end of the broom, you whisked at the spider with the bristled end and melded the spider’s rubbery black corpse into the ceiling.

So then you went for the ladder. Your child wanted to climb up the ladder to get the spider down because that would be fun. But watching television on the ladder was more fun. Also, it was pretty much impossible for your child to reach the rubbery spider.

So, you climbed up the ladder, pulled the spider down, and noticed a greasy stain with black rubbery spider residue exactly where you’d previously smashed the black rubbery spider into the ceiling with the broom.

Naturally, you moistened a soft cloth with warm water to wipe the greasy black rubbery spider stain with residue, and removed paint from your ceiling. The greasy stain with black rubbery spider residue is still there.

Scenario III

Later that night, you put away your laptop, climbed into bed, and something hard poked you in the butt (not that, gosh, your husband was still in the bathroom). You pulled back the comforter to find a popcorn cart between the sheets.

No? Not one of these scenarios has ever happened to you? Then if your child is not feeling well, clearly you pay attention to your child should try math followed by a homeopathic remedy.

44 comments on “Homeopathic Remedies: Don’t Try Them at Home”

  1. Hehehe, don’t you just love when they try to be helpful and take care of things themselves … and later you have 3X the work fixing the help? 🙂 Ah, kids … gotta love ’em!

    Ever make the mistake of letting your daughter each crackers while watching TV in your bed? The amount of crumbs in the sheets made a perfect outline of where mine was laying. I don’t even think there were that many crackers in the box to begin with.

  2. Do you mind if I give you an off-the-cuff humourous post of the day award?

    It’s not a real blogger award, no image, no rules, but…

    ..that was the funniest post I’ve read this day, no, read this week, it was…sheer brilliance. Thanks for making me laugh out loud!

  3. i have totally had that day. except the water was grape juice, the spider was silly putty in the first grader’s hair and the adolescent boy pretends he’s sick to avoid math.

  4. I have to admit I’m relieved that the child MENSA member has “typical” moments too.

    “…something hard poked you in the butt (not that, gosh, your husband was still in the bathroom).” Laughed. Out. Loud. I HATE when something hard pokes me in the butt when I least expect it…

  5. That first scenario totally reminds me of the Laura Numeroff books–“If you Give a Mouse a Cookie,”; “If You Give a Moose a Muffin,”; and “If you Give a Pig a Pancake.”

    The second scenario is a nightly happening in our bed, only it isn’t a popcorn cart, and my husband isn’t still in the bathroom. Oh, wait. That was just a dream. Well, I can dream, can’t I?

  6. lol, that is great! The other day I was trying to trick my daughter into napping while I was blogging. Didn’t notice her cleaning her shoes with her dad’s pillow case, lol

  7. Honestly, I haven’t had these scenarios occur at my house. My 9 yr old son would never have gone to school just for math. When he fakes sick, he fakes the whole day.

    And that would have been a wrestler action figure in my bed, not a popcorn cart. Frankly, I’d rather have the popcorn cart because those wrestlers are ridiculous.

  8. Okay, does it count that the other day I pulled back the comforter to get into bed and there was a giant orange stuffed ring from a ring-toss game in there? 🙂

  9. I have a little magnetic guy on a motorcycle sticking to the vent in the ceiling of my bathroom. I swear every time I go in there I look up at that tiny motor cycle guy and wonder how the the kid got him up there – but I leave it there. I have lived all of these scenarios – in one form or the other!

    Take care, Cheri – Kellan

  10. I’d rather have a gooey spider on the ceiling than the stink bugs that are there… well, maybe not…

    While I was sleeping this morning, 4 children went out the door to school. Husband was not in the shower, or in bed with me. He was already at work.

    Bronchitis does things like that to me.

  11. I also wanted to add, that in reading your profile, (yeah, I’m nosy that way) we have nearly the same favorite movies. (I know, it’s so “7th grade” to point it out, but when I saw “Death at a Funeral on your list, I knew I’d like you.)

  12. i can totally relate to the spider stain!
    i made a ding in the wall once where i didn’t mean to. i filled it in with toothpaste. the ding still shows. actually, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

  13. Will read this post tomorrow, but for now I have to say – for some reason, I KNEW you would like my Tito’s Tacos post!!!!!!!

  14. I loved those sticky bugs as a kid! I had one that you would throw against the wall and it would crawl down like a slinky! I know, you’re thinking “Multiple spots down the wall!”

  15. Wait, you didn’t tell me that Laura had done the sick kid thing this week, too! She and LD are really going to have to meet. They’re two peas in a pod, those two.

    I had a great time today, Cheri! Thank you for allowing me to photograph you and your beautiful daughters. Thank you for letting me get to know all of you a little more.

    Da Goddess
    dagoddess.com

  16. When I was a kid, we went to my uncle’s house for Christmas. I got one of those sticky wall walkers and was throwing it around with my sister. It stuck to the front door with a mighty splat. There was no greasy mark because it pulled all the off paint the door instead…

    -Stu

  17. I hate those sticky things. My son throws them up on the ceiling all the time and to the plant ledges I can’t reach unless I go invest in an 24 foot ladder at Home Depot. Yeah, right.

  18. It’s NEVER a good thing when I try to blog and I have “conscious” children in the house. Heck, I can’t turn my back for more than a minute and things start to go south … RAPIDLY.

    Think Sharpie markers. And car keys in toilets…

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