Courtney Really is . . . Independent!
Written by Courtney

I pay my own rent, car insurance, gas, groceries, beer, cable, electricity, and now cell phone bill. After graduation, I decided that if I were to get a number local to where I live it would mean that I would need to change my phone number. Some may say that this is not that big of a deal. I beg to differ. Actually I don’t beg, I will just differ. I had my old phone number for roughly nine years. This wasn’t just any phone number. The last four digits of the number was my birthday. So I have been really attached to that phone number.

You would think that moving your phone number to another account would be easy. But with a particular cell phone company (can you hear me now?), it is anything but easy. For almost a month I have been talking to Can You Hear Me Now to determine how best to get my number released from Mom’s account and put on a new account. Every person I talked to would tell me something different. My mom’s only instruction was for me to figure out how to take care of it myself.

So finally I thought to myself, “Self, what if you just disconnect the number and get a new account?” Genius!!! Grant ordered the pink LG Venus for me and I got to pick the prefix of my number! Then, since my old number was on my mom’s account, I had to get some information from her, because Can You Hear Me Now wanted only the account holder to make changes to the account. So, with the information I got from Mom, I called them pretending to be her, the real account holder.

My pink beautiful phone arrived via FedEx. I activated it. Then I called Can You Hear Me Now? Magically I was Cheri. I spoke to a very nice phone lady. Our conversation went something like this.

Courtney: “I would like to disconnect the phone number xxx-xxx-0508.”

Can You Hear Me Now Lady: “Oh, well sure we can do that. May I ask why you want to disconnect this number?”

Courtney: “Well my daughter [*trying not to be found that I am actually the daughter*] just graduated from college and lives in a different state. She is applying for a job there, so she needs a local number. The number that she has now is N/A to her.”
[What person who isn’t me says something isn’t “N/A” to someone? Uh oh.]

CYHMNL: “Well, that is understandable. You must be so proud of your daughter graduating from college. That is such a big accomplishment. What did she study?”

Courtney [*trying not to giggle*]: “I am really proud of her. She studied history and political science.” [*thinking, please stop asking me questions me about “my daughter”*]

CYHMNL: “What is your daughter thinking about doing with that?”

Courtney: “Well, she would like to be teacher. At some point she wants to go to law school.”

CYHMNL: “That is great. My son is at University of Utah; he already has children and is going to school too. He says that college is not easy, especially in his situation. But he will be done next year.”

[I now realize that I just don’t know what to say. But since I am Cheri, and Cheri is good at chatting with people, I have to be that way too. I try to think fast on my feet.]

Courtney: “I can relate to that. I went to UCLA while I had my two oldest daughters. I think that they learned from experience to really value going to college. I was a good role model for them.”

[I put my foot in my mouth.]

Courtney: “University of Utah is such a great school. You must be so proud of your son. Going to college is such a great achievement.”

[*Trying to climb my way out of the grave that I dug.*]

CYHMNL: “Thank you [she was sounding really happy, I rule!] I am so happy and proud of him. Okay, that number is disconnected. Can I get your email address so I can email you a confirmation email?”

Courtney: [*stalling while looking for Mom’s email address*] “Of course. That would be perfect, then I can forward it to my daughter.”

[I find and give her Mom’s email address.]

CYHMNL: “Okay, everything is all taken care of. And thank you for being a valued Can You Hear Me Now customer for so long.”

I quickly got off the phone and called my mom, the real account holder, to tell her about what it was like to be her. She said, “Courtney, write all of that up and email it to me, because you are funny and I’ll never remember everything. You can be my first guest post ever.”

So yes, now I am independent. Well, still trying to be. But hey, I am not on the same cell phone plan as Mom.

7 comments on “Guest Post #1: From “The Middle Child””

  1. Good job, Courtney! Now, if only I could get my kids to pose as me for useful things like disconnecting, rather than lifting their blocks on downloading games and new ringtones.

  2. Priceless. I can see that the middle child did not fall far from the mom tree.

    My 23 year old is completely independent (okay, she lives off her boyfriend while going to MORE school) except for the cell phone. It still has her 13 year old voice on the voicemail from when she first got the phone. None of us want to lose that.

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