Let’s talk about breasts, shall we?
With a family history of breast cancer (mother and great-grandmother), I take breast care seriously. I support friends and friends of friends who do breast cancer walks. Laura and I do Save Lids to Save Lives each year. I am known to relentlessly pursue and nag anyone whom I find out is overdue for her next mammogram. I drive around with this car magnet on the back of my car:
You get the point.
And yet, my “YOU ARE DUE FOR AN APPOINTMENT” reminder card has been sitting next to my keyboard for a month. I look at that card every day and know that between the mammogram, ultrasound, follow-up office visit, and, if it goes like last time, a second set of mammograms, insurance errors, etc., this will likely take me several telephone calls, followed by several office visits, and will include some vigorous sessions during which my ta-tas are summoned from their ever-southward migration to be prodded, laid bare on a cold slab of metal, marked with a Sharpie, and repeatedly smashed.
Who wouldn’t be procrastinating?
Today, it is my solemn vow to start making that round of telephone calls to get the mammogram appointment process started. I will do it today and not tomorrow because my reminder card says in yellow-highlighted letters that I can only call on M, W, or F to schedule appointments.
And so today I am also reminding you to be sure you’re current on your breast self-exam, mammogram, and pap smear. If you’re not the type to get mammograms, like Gary, or Gary, or Mo, then remind your loved ones, k?
A couple of months ago, Laura noticed that the Save the Ta-Tas magnet on the tailgate was missing from the back of the car. I remembered that my car had been in the shop earlier that week, so I wondered if it had been removed there, but it could have gone missing anyplace, so I didn’t think much more of it. Last week, I had to take my car in again for service. When I was taking care of the paperwork, guess what I spotted behind the service counter:
Yes, that would be my car magnet on the metal filing rack behind the service counter. No, I didn’t ask for it back because I’d already replaced it, and it seemed to be spreading a fine public service announcement right there in the service department. Also, perhaps more importantly, using my finely tuned pretending-to-text technique, I was able to covertly shoot a photo for blogging purposes.
Anywho. A while back, to save on shipping and in case it went missing again, I ordered a couple of extra magnets. So, if you leave a comment that you want a “Save the Ta-Tas” car magnet, I’ll use a random-number transmogrofier to pick a winner from the comments and send you one of my extra magnets for your car or fridge.