So. Does anyone remember the katydidnot versus karla with a k bitch slap? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Bueller? Anyone?

katydidnot remembers! Okay. Good. For the rest of you: That particular bitch slap resulted in a new line of clothing and gave us me someone else to be all snarky about for, like, ever.

So. I did not see this coming, but Jenn, who is a fellow San Diego Blog Bitch, brought it. And now? Jenn has to answer.

Jenn’s Tree
Jenn posted an “obligatory” photo of her Christmas tree a couple of days ago. It made me ooo and aah when I saw it. Because at first I was all, “Oh, I have pretty red bows on my tree like Jenn’s” and “Yeah, I have handmade ornaments like Jenn” and “Look! Jenn and I both have white lights on our trees!
Cheri’s Tree

But upon closer inspection? Jenn’s tree puts Cheri’s tree to shame. So? This is where I have to take this mother apart point by point, katydidnot versus karla with a k-style.

Jenn has ornaments that came from years of a traditional exchange with another family.

Cheri has ornaments that came free with a National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation DVD and a Polly Pocket doll.

Jenn has handmade dough ornaments made from ideas found in Family Fun and Good Housekeeping.

Cheri’s handmade ornaments are made from toilet paper rolls, aluminum foil, and cotton balls.

Jenn’s ornaments are seasonally themed (by season Jenn means holiday): “Snowmen, Snow Babies, and Santas.”

Cheri’s ornaments are seasonally themed (by season Cheri means television): “SpongeBob, I Lucy Lucy, and The Simpsons.”

The very placement of Jenn’s ornaments are remarkable too. Each ornament is hung on its own branch, evenly spaced, and is aesthetically pleasing. Jenn probably hung them all by herself, or, if she got help, it was from children who could reach higher than three feet and had actual attention spans.

The very placement of Cheri’s ornaments are remarkable too. Laura was very excited to help Cheri. Laura put all the cheesy, decrepit, fake, lead-paint-coated, Bisphenol-A-plastic apples on one low branch, warned Cheri within an inch of her life not to move the apples because “they’re supposed to be like that,” and then wandered off . . .

But Cheri’s tree and Jenn’s tree both have handmade ornaments, red bows, and white lights.

That’s the same, right?

Okay. Fine.

Jenn – 1, Cheri – 0

 

(Photos not the property of Blog This Mom! were shoplifted from Juggling Life and Google Images.)

44 comments on “Blogger Bitch Slap: Cheri versus Jenn”

  1. I vote for Cheri’s tree because it’s much more like mine. Jenn’s might be a little too perfect.

    Hey, is this Cheri’s blog? I didn’t even notice. The bitch slap just caught my eye.

    Hopefully my tree will be going up this weekend and you will see some really wild ornamentation.

    SpongeBob, Cheri? I call you, double dog dare you, and raise the bet with South Park. (OK, I never played poker…I can’t talk the talk but I can tree the tree!!!)

  2. you know jenn’s going to kick your sorry ass on easter eggs.

    oh yes huh.

    also? duh. of course the apples go like that.

    and also? haven’t laughed that hard in a week. or a month.

  3. Ooh…I do love a good cat fight!! I’m glad I have a good seat!!! cotton balls at 2:00.
    and yeah…my tree wants to be Jenn’s when it grows up!!
    Mine gets put up tomorrow…complete with Lego ornaments (thanks to a Lego Christmas box a few years ago) and….yeah, uh-huh…a flamingo or two!!
    My trailer-trashiness sneaks through at the best of times!!

  4. Who doesn’t love a good blogger bitch slap?

    But I must comment on Ginaagain’s comment… can someone PLEASE post a picture of a tampon angel, because this sounds like something I really do need to see.

  5. I NEARLY CHOKED READING THIS I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD. WHO IS GOING TO COME FIND ME IF I CHOKE TO DEATH BECAUSE YOU’RE SO DAMN FUNNY!

    I LIVE ALONE, GOT NO TREE. DOES THAT MEAN I CAN’T PLAY THIS GAME!

    I DO HAVE A WOODEN CHRISTMAS TREE THAT I HANG ON MY FRONT DOOR. DOES THAT COUNT FOR ANYTHING AT ALL???

  6. My ornaments resemble yours. There are clusters of things, homemade stuff, art projects and even a freebie from a Sonic kids meal that is a snoopy gift tag that my 4 year old thought needed to go on the tree. Finally, my takiness includes a Jack in the Box snowman.

  7. Okay, so I was going to be like “Props for Jenn’s awesome tree” until you broke it down. Now I’m like “Cheri rocks!”, and I hope Cheri understands the double meaning there.

  8. Hahahah! Cheri’s tree reminds me of g’s tree!

    yes, we have the Simpsons ornament. Yes, the handmade ones (top of a frozen concentrate juice can, with glitter glued on it, courtesy my son at the age of 5.)

    For a while we had the styrofoam lacquer coated apples, too, until exposure to the sunlight (my tree’s in a window) made the laquer crack and fall off.

    This year, though, no tree. It’s just the 2 of us, and we’re tired. some twinkel lights, OK.

  9. Do you have the handmade ornament with your child’s picture in the middle of a snack-size paper plate decorated with bowtie pasta and markers? If not, you gotta get you one like that! It makes the whole tree.

  10. Jeanette: We have the Jack in the Box ornament, as in fast-food Jack. It’s a snowman with Jack’s head on top. Yeah-huh.

    Blognut: I see your child’s picture in the middle of a snack-size paper plate decorated with bowtie pasta and markers and raise you one picture of a crying child in the middle of a snack-size paper plate decorated with bowtie pasta and markers. Yeah-huh.

  11. I love Jenn’s tree with my perfectly coiffed, no-chapped-lips, ironed expensive pants heart; I love Cheri’s tree with my regular everyday hair & lips and what’s-an-iron?-pants heart.

    Both merry, just different. 😀

  12. Just for you… for a day or two, or maybe until Christmas, I have placed a photo of one bad-ass homemade ornament on my blog all the way at the bottom. It will help you truly appreciate what one little boy can do with an ordinary green ball ornament, a piece of felt, and 2 sticky eyes.

  13. I identify with both Jenn’s tree and Cheri’s, oddly enough! No bows on mine though! And most ornaments are plastered near the ground and are migratory.

  14. It still surprises me every Christmas that we continue to hang the red apples. (I was convinced when I was little that the witch gave Snow White one of those apples.) I am also surprised that you still have the toilet paper ornaments that Kristen and I made when we younger than Laura. Oh those days.

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