I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that Spanx makes swimwear.

This is how the model looks in Spanx swimwear:

The bad news is that Spanx makes swimwear.

This is how I look in Spanx swimwear:

This is how the model feels when she’s putting on her Spanx swimwear:

This is how I feel when I’m putting on my Spanx swimwear:

And that’s all I have to say about that.


24 comments on “Blog This Mom: The Swimsuit Edition”

  1. How could I let it all hang out with Spanx in a swimsuit? You are courageous to even include a drawing of yourself in a Spanx suit, I couldn’t even go there!

  2. I think spanxing should be done in the privacy of the bedroom, if the consenting adults choose to…

    Seriously, what an awful name.

    BTW, my word verification is ENCHESTS. As in, “My tatas were enchested within the spanx swimwear”

  3. Precisely why I’m not purchasing another swimsuit until I drop the prerequisite ten pounds that are currently dogging me. I can’t remember if I’ve given you the password to my privatized blog. Send me an email if I haven’t

  4. Hysterical and scary that Spanx. It always evokes dual images of weird spanking and underclothing to me. Perhaps best that you steer clear of anything resembling sausage.

  5. Normally I can’t stand Spanx, but have you tried their bras? I am a person who has taken my bra off through my sleeve in public rather than have to wear it for one more minute, but I could sleep in a Spanx bra (Bra-lleluja) For realz.

  6. I don’t know why I keep listening to those stupid swim suit people that say there suits are slimming — ‘cuz nothing is slimming these thighs. nothing.

  7. aaah. spanx.
    the name makes me smile….but the thought of actually struggling into something BY that name? horrifying.
    i wonder….does spanx come in a full body, deep see-diving-esque suit? that might work.
    i can’t believe i’m saying (typing) this but….i might look for a suit with a nice skirt on it.
    or not.

  8. I once tried on some Spanx. I put a foot in, another foot in, and promptly fell over on my face. And then I returned them. 😉

  9. I like my shorts and tank top style swimsuit. Covers up all the things that need to be covered up-comfortably, no struggling, no suffocating. That’s my swimsuit and I’m sticking to it!

  10. I finally gave up and bought the Kohl’s ripoff version of the Land’s End tankini with the board short bottoms to hide the jiggliest bits. And you know what? I don’t even care any more. The top’s just that cute, all black and white stripes. Like I’m jailbait, hah.

    (the blogger formerly known not as Prince but as blc)

Lurkers are welcome. Commenters are welcomer.