Did you ever have one of those days when you go to the dermatologist to show her a bump on your widow’s peak and she says, “Stop picking at it.” And you say (lying), “I don’t pick at it. It has been there for a while and it kind of hurts.” And she says, “Here’s some steroid foam to put on it and don’t pick at it?”

No?

Did you ever have one of those days when you go to the dermatologist on the same day that you showed her the bump on your widow’s peak and you also show her a thing on your nose and she says, “Stop picking at it.” And you say (truthfully), “I don’t pick at it, but when I wash my face or use a tissue it bleeds sometimes.” And she says, “Put some polysporin ointment on it and don’t pick at it?”

No?

Did you ever have one of those days when you go back to the dermatologist to show her that the bump on your widow’s peak has now turned into many more bumps and patches covering your entire scalp and you tell her that it all hurts and that you think the foam stuff is making it worse and she says, “The steroid foam is not making it worse, keep using it?”

No?

Did you ever have one of those days when you go back to the dermatologist to show her the hurting bumps and patches covering your entire scalp and you also show her the thing on your nose that is still there despite the not picking at it and daily application of polysporin ointment and she says, “The polysporin ointment will make it better, keep using it?”

No?

Did you ever have one of those days when you go to a different dermatologist and she says that you have a bacteria infection in your hair follicles and that the steroid foam probably suppressed your body’s natural immunities and caused the infection to spread from a few hair follicles to the hair follicles all over your scalp and she prescribes you a 30-day course of antibiotics to get rid of it?

No?

Did you ever have one of those days when you go to the different dermatologist on the same day she tells you the hair follicles all over your scalp are infected and by the way you show her the thing on your nose and she says that has to come out now, and she uses a hole puncher to remove a chunk of your nose, and blood spurts out and lands across the room and in your eye, and she stitches up your nose, and she looks at the thing that was hole-punched out of your nose under the microscope in her lab and tells you it is Basal Cell Carcinoma, and you don’t even bother to ask her if polysporin ointment cures skin cancer?

No?

Well, I had one of those days yesterday.

I will know more when the lab results come back next week where know more equals know if they have to remove more of my nose next week. Also, stay tuned to find out how much fun it was to go to a Really Important Event for the executive types at Tom’s work a couple of days from now with My Stitch Nose, large pores, grease face, eyebrows in dire need of tweezing, and possible baldness due to hair follicle infection.

Meanwhile, the point of this post . . . and I do have one that isn’t all about me, is that Basal Cell Carcinoma is the most common form of skin cancer and it is most typically caused by exposure to UV rays. So, use your sunscreen and get regular skin checks by a doctor who isn’t a moron.

55 comments on “Before You Start Thinking That All of My Doctors Are Hot . . .”

  1. OMG! I want to punch that first doctor! What a royal pain to have to go through all of that!

    I’m so glad you got a second opinion!
    Saying a prayer for you!

    I hope your scalp gets better SOON, too!

    (You have purty eyes!)

  2. BEAUTIFUL EYES! and i’m glad you got it worked out also.

    And those socks? I’m definitely wearing them under my cowboy boots at the wedding. You can count on it. Best present ever.

  3. Have you killed the first doctor yet? And did you get some pain killer in your nose? Poor nose.

    By the way, I agree about your eyes. No one will even look at your nose, they will be transfixed by your beautiful eyes.

  4. Holy crap! OK, you’ve totally convinced me to call my dermatologist about the little thing on my face. Hoping he’s not an idiot like your first doctor!

    By the way… I hate to ask, but what happened with Adam’s twins you were going to give birth to last week? 😉

  5. Who’s going to be looking at the stitches? Nobody. That’s who.

    They’ll be too mesmerized by your purdy eyes.

    And hey! Don’t pick at anything, okay?

    XO

  6. Good grief! I would send the NEW doctor’s report to the EX so called doctor along with a note that says something to the effect of “Thanks. Your stupidity could have cost me my life.” And it’s amazing how well most of us know our own bodies and when not to believe arrogant doctors.

  7. 1. I’m glad you got a 2nd opinion. So many doctors suck these days it seems.

    2. Thank you for the sunblock reminder. I was being lazy.

    3. You have amazing eyes! And really super long eyelashes!

    4. I think you should go see the Hot Toe doctor for a little pick me up.

  8. At first I was thinking – wow, your insurance lets you go to the dermatologist! The I was thinking – you must be a Kaiser member.

    So sorry.

    I am going back to make a fuss at my GP to let me see the dermatologist ASAP. I was a ooong time sun worshipper.

  9. I bet you could sport a lovely headscarf and look awesome.
    You have arresting eyes. No one will be staring at your nose.

    So is this what happens when you try to give birth through your nose?

  10. As a matter of fact, I also have had a non-hot jackass doctor put me off about a bump on my nose that would randomly hurt & bleed; he finally agreed to take it off “so it would be less unsightly” (GEE, THANKS, that wasn’t exactly my concern).

    I’m glad you got someone to take you seriously, and am praying (to the weed-dealing Jesus) that all is well for you.

  11. I was just about to ask if they had a ratemydoctor yet, however I decided to use a tool from my previous employer to see if I could find a similar service.

    First result:
    http://www.ratemds.com/social/

    Would this have been helpful prior to the visit? If not help out the next person who make the same mistake.

  12. Doh! Blogger needs a 2 minute edit comment button, or I need to review my comments better.

    “If not help out the next person who might(^) make the same mistake.”

  13. I can’t find words for what I’m feeling! In the last five years, I’ve met two doctors who made the correct initial decision that would later prove to be lifesaving for me. (Cancer x2)
    They were both temps at a small local hospital and I was covered by national medical insurance.

    Oh, and I agree with everyone: Your eyes will attract more comments than some tiny stitches. In a week you may even be able to pull them!

  14. I’m thinking you should publish that first dermatologist’s name as a public service announcement.

    I’ve had a couple of things come back negative for basal cell carcinoma, but I’m assuming my day will come. That’s the downside to being a California girl, isn’t it?

    Maybe you could wear a muslim headdress and heavy eyeliner–make it all about your gorgeous eyes.

  15. I HATED this post.

    You know I don’t hate you. The complete opposite in fact.

    I just hated that stupid ignorant dermatologist for getting it all so VERY wrong.

    Hate is a strong word. I know that. Get thee to IKea for some cushion goodness.

  16. I’m glad you got a second opinion!

    I know how you feel on the nose thing; I’ve had to wear Birkenstocks periodically with suits for the last couple years and that makes me cringe but it was the best way of taking care of my back!

    Go forth proud and knowing you took care of yourself first! You look maaaavelous!

  17. see…this is what i get for coming so late to the party…everyone has my comments…and i’d look lame if i said something about your eyes…or how a scarf would look nice…even something witty and charming about your eyebrows…or how you really should print the name of the doctor, you know, as a public serice announcement.
    so instead, will say, thanks for the sunscreen reminder…hope ALL gets better soon.

  18. Oh my God. This rings true for me, having had so many medical mishaps myself. Cheri – hope this is the weaniest of cells you’ve removed. And the hair follicle infection! Jail that doctor! Along with several of mine . . . .

  19. First, let me say I’m glad you went for a second opinion because my first thought with the thing on your nose that bled when you didn’t pick at it was that it needed to be biopsied. And I would have said, “my guess is basal cell”. That’s what you get from working with a doc who was not a dermatologist but just damn good at seeing that which isn’t normal.

    Second, want me to go punch the first dermatologist? I will. Okay, maybe I’ll resort to kicking. Or hair pulling. Or snarling and gnashing. Just sayin’ I’m available for such things if you want.

  20. Good God Woman! Thank goodness you got a second opinion!

    And maybe now I should rethink the way my Daughter’s dermatologist scrutinized my face yesterday after removing Daughter’s wart? Maybe he wasn’t being a Creeper?

  21. Hey Everyone!

    Thanks for your well wishes here and the lovely emails, too. I’m totally not going to punch out or file a lawsuit against Dermatologist #1 — at least at this point. 😉 Nor am I going to share her name until I know for sure from the lab it is skin cancer. Having said that, I now see why getting an appointment was so easy, clearly she’s killed off her patient load, literally. Heh.

    Anyway, here is my hope (and, clearly, I also have an active imagination because I’m also wondering if any of you saw Adam Lambert sing to me on the Today Show yesterday): The biopsy results will come back from the lab and Dermatologist #2 (who at this point looked at it under a microscope) will say, “Good news! It wasn’t cancer after all.” I really think it could happen. But if it basal cell, then it’s all gone. I’m totally not destined for Michael Jackson nose. I’m sure of that. 🙂

  22. Dear Wife,

    Where Dear Wife using uppercase letters means I’m really sorry that somehow I missed this very important post about your stupid ass doctor and your beautiful face and the sucky timing of our husband’s very important work thing and you look beautiful anyway, and I can go with him in your place if you need me to and can he come with me to the gala tomorrow night, because I don’t want to go alone and stupid Navy and stupid Persian Gulf and stupid not hot doctors don’t know anything at all.

    Okay, love you. Bye.

  23. i’m so sorry all that happened to you. and good for getting another opinion.
    i can’t believe how stupid doctors are sometimes. grrrr.
    good luck with your lab results next week!

  24. Did you ever have one of those days where your virtual friend was, like, DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK? March your stitch-nose-ass back into that first doctor’s office and, like, have a smack down. Seriously.

  25. damn doctors. I have the same issues and have similar conversations with my dermatologist. I have scars everywhere where they have razored something off to send to the lab. A huge thank you to my paternal side who gave me this wonderful skin.

    Hang in there!

  26. Cheri, please tell me you are going to call the first derm and let her know about your second opinion. In fact, I think you should link her name, so that no one else in your area goes to her.

    That said, you look pretty even with a stitch in your nose.

    CHERI CALL HER!

  27. It’s allowed to be all about you this time. You must feel worried and I don’t blame you. I hope it gets treated quickly and well.

    Any yeah… go with your intuition and second opinions. “Medical misadventure” (mistakes) is one of the leading causes of death in the United States. Really.

  28. I wish you hadn’t had a day like that!!

    My God! the first doctor was trying to make sure you lost all your hair before even mentioning cancer treatment. What an ass.

    I hope you’re feeling better and have great news to share soon.

  29. I’m sorry. Hair/scalp issues as well as losing a chunk of my already odd looking nose, are two of my biggest fears. I swear.

    Chris [the husband] has had several basal cells and a few squamous cell carcinomas. In total, about 50 stitches over the past few years. He’s never had one on his nose, and I imagine it’s miserable and you feel self conscious. [I get a nose herpes once in a while – it’s really cute.]

    I’m just sorry, Cheri. You’re gorgeous with or without stitches and I hope your head rash heals faster than the doctor thinks it will. Poor bunny… xoxo

  30. Ack! I went through a jolly round of basal cell carcinoma on my nose last summer.

    If you have to have anything more tissue removed try and find a dermatologist who does MOHS surgery which is subtler than the friggin’ hole punch and will leave less of a ding in your nose. (After the hole punch my derm’s nurse yelled at me for bleeding so much – gah!)

    Good luck girl.

  31. Well, holy crap. I step away – AND SPEND FAR TOO MUCH TIME IN THE SUN! GASP! – and you have hole punch nose.

    No good.

    I hope you are better, head to toe, soonly. Like now.

    (You have such pretty eyes. :))

  32. oh my goodness! I can’t believe your experience w/that first dr! Sounds like she didn’t have a clue or couldn’t be bothered! Praying it’s nothing!

  33. Oh, Cheri, I’m so sorry about all of this. You are in my prayers and thoughts. I’m glad you found a good 2nd dermatologist.

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