As you may or may not have read, earlier this week we thought that Laura’s Betta fish died.

The little faker was taking a pebble nap under the pump in her tank.

After we’d prepared a funeral service befitting a head of state, Lavender woke up, waved her purple fin at us, and yelled, “Psych!”

Lavender’s nickname is now Lazarus.

Dr. Kevorkian Tom suggested that since Lavender hadn’t been looking very energetic and we did have the bathroom all set up for a burial at sea, maybe we should go ahead and, you know . . .

The next morning we found this in her tank:

And the day after that we got a letter from Lavender’s agent. Apparently, she’s been involved in contract negotiations with Sea World.

It seems that Lavender’s agent has specified that considering her death-defying abilities, she will not take a co-starring role.

When we know the opening date of her one-fish show, we’ll let you know.

34 comments on “And For Her Next Act . . .”

  1. You know that web in the tank means you have a spider somewhere in your house, right?

    It does.

    Now what are you gonna do?

    PS I totally want to come to the show.

  2. We had no fish, but hermit crabs. One would think that would be a 6 month pet. Nope. Those damn things lived for 2 years. Long after the kids got tired of having hermit crabs for pets. Not too sure whether they were dead or alive, either, at teh time of their mass burial.

  3. Dude! We totally had a Lazarus Beta fish once too! Every single fish in the tank died after we went on a vacation in the middle of winter and (cough cough) turned off all the heat to the house. I went to scoop it out of the tank and it slowly raised it’s fin. We humored it and put it in a cup of warm water. The next day (or maybe week??) it was swimming around again. WTH??? We actually tried to kill that fish a year later when we were tired of neglecting it and couldn’t kill the thing!

  4. I think Laura’s agent is going to be the next call you receive, or is it her attorney? Anyway, Laura and Lavender are going to escape together to Sea World and their show will support you through your old age and retirement. It’s perfect.

  5. I’ve never liked fish. Fickle creatures that always cry “wolf”. And besides, they’re clearly stupid too because no wolf would be bothered to got catch a little fibbing fish from a little tank.

  6. hahaha, too funny! Too bad you can’t have a whole tank full of betas, eh? They come in the most amazing colours.

    I probably wouldn’t have paid attention to him actually swimming after being pronounced dead… I like your husband’s inclination 😉

    So… you going to come back and haiku again? You know you want to…

  7. My husband had a betta fish that sat on his desk in a little tank in his office. When he went to Iraq, I took care of the fish. It sat on our kitchen counter and LIVED FOREVER. I swear it would give me the evil eye when I ate sushi. It just looked bored and bitter all the time. I think it once held up a sign that said, “KILL ME!” It lived like 4 years and finally keeled over when I tried to move it Down South to Granilla’s house when I was studying for the bar. It’ll be a while before I can own one of those mofos again.

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