Backstage Dude: “No individual photos. Group photos only. No autographs.”
Jamie: “Oh Cheri, don’t do a group photo. It should just be you in the picture with Adam Lambert.”
Cheri: “No, really, Jamie, you pose with him alone, and I’ll do my photo with Tom and Laura.”
Jamie: “But you love Adam Lambert and he loves you. It should just be the two of you in your photo.”
Cheri: “Honestly, I’m totally happy to have Tom and Laura in the photo too. “ [I could always crop them out later.] [I have bomb-diggity Photoshop skillz.] [What?] [Kidding about the cropping.] [No, I’m not.] [Yes, I am.]
Then it was my turn to meet Adam for the fourth time (third was here) (second here) (first here) (not counting when I saw him sing the national anthem at high school football games just a decade ago) (WHAT?). True story.
First I showed Adam my iPhone boyfriend wallpaper and he smiled patiently. True story.
Next Adam patiently signed the 16×20 photo on canvas that my friend Trish gave me (click to enlarge the photo and check out the name on the red heart pin on his lapel). True story.
Adam also graciously signed a For Your Entertainment CD for Laura (yes, I had one left after I gave away over 500 of them to my closest friends). True story.
Then I told Adam that my oldest daughter, Kristen, went to high school at Mt. Carmel at the same time he did, and that she said to give him a rainbow hello with glitter on top. Adam told me to tell her the same. True story.
Then we posed for our group photo — or what I thought was our group photo.
Then Adam Lambert put his hand on my shoulder and I totally lost my flippin’ mind. Totally. I went mute. Seriously? Seriously? That never happens to me. I lived in L.A. almost all of my life and I practiced family law in Beverly Hills. Celebrity sightings? Meh. Pretty much a whatever thing. (Except for Johnny Depp.) But in that moment when Adam Lambert touched my shoulder? I was struck dumb. Totally. Gah. True story.
In hindsight, and had I any ability to speak at all, I would have told Adam to pay no attention to my middle-aged-mom-fan disguise because I’m really a hot young androgynous-looking gay dude who he should take home and get to know better. Right? That wouldn’t have been as creepy as an old broad who’d just showed him a Photoshopped picture of herself with him on her iPhone before she went mute.
As I was walking away, I turned back to watch Jamie get her photo taken with him, and what to my wondering eyes should appear? Not Jamie and Adam.
Tom was having his photo taken with Adam Lambert. True story.
Now I can’t decide which one of them I love the most. Tom or Adam Lambert? Tom or Adam Lambert? Hmmmm. Thankfully, I have this picture of them together to pore over, which may or may not facilitate the decision-making process. I’ll get back to you with my final answer.
Apparently Tom was taking photos of us while Laura and I were getting “officially” photographed. So when we were done with ours, Tom simply went next.
And then it was Jamie’s turn to put her head on Adam’s shoulder . . . *love*
Oh. Yeah. There was also a concert. And it was fantastic too. The best one I’ve ever attended, and that includes the Stones and Elton John. True story.
I’m still basking in the afterglow of multiple Lambergasms one week later. True story.