Dear Miss Needs-To-Find-Her-Chi:
Remember when we met at the Kahului Airport on Monday? No? My husband pulled our rental car up to the curb and you pulled in behind us? We arrived early to check our bags, and it wasn’t particularly crowded in front of the terminal. Did you notice that when you pulled in there was room to park at least ten cars behind yours? And there was even room to park at least ten cars in front of us? No? I didn’t think so because you laid on your horn anyway. Did you know that rental cars come with transmissions so that the car can move in reverse? You know, for parking and such like. No? Did you notice that my husband got back into our car and pulled forward for you? You see, Miss NTFHC, he was being a gentleman. I am guessing that you may not be familiar with the concept of a gentleman. But you weren’t satisfied that he treated you kindly, were you? No? I didn’t think so because you jumped out of your car and started yelling at my husband, in front of our little daughter. And you know how he simply ignored you? He was still being a gentleman. Oh. And that woman who was in the passenger seat of your car? The one who looked like she could be your mother? She put her head down. I’m guessing she was embarrassed. But you walked toward my husband waving your arms in the air and made the “hang loose” sign with both hands, and yelled that my husband ought to know about the spirit of Hawaii. Um. Miss NTFHC? The point you were trying to make about hanging loose in Hawaii? It got kind of lost with all of that horn honking and yelling and waving your arms around. And my husband’s response? Still tried to ignore you. Because? He is a gentleman. Me? Not so much. Which is why I picked out a nice name for you and told you to back off or you’d be dealing with me. So? Thanks for backing off so promptly. It would have been unpleasant for your mother and my daughter if I’d had to deck you right there in front of the airline terminal.